It's always tiresome going back to school after a three day weekend. Here I am sitting and typing away with my eyes practically dry and bleeding; my eyelids feel incredibly heavy.
There are days when I wish I could just be carefree as some students I see at school. They socialize without any worry in the world and head home to do whatever enthralls them without the thought of homework ever crossing their minds. Sometimes I say to myself, "Forget this. I don't care," but in reality, I'm still worrying about finishing my homework, studying for tests, studying for my AP exams, practicing my Japanese, and reading. . . the list is endless! I don't think I'll ever be able to be truly carefree. I don't know if that's a good or a bad quality?
I hope to pursue the world of journalism but sometimes I feel like it's such a risky occupation. Considering how writers have it currently, it really isn't the best career but it's one of my deepest passions. I love that it allows me to be a creative human too! That's definitely something I want to keep as a quality. And if I'm able to become an official journalist, then I hope there's still such thing as printed news! If my official job is working for an online news site then I personally wouldn't feel as successful or official. I'd feel like I'd be blogging everyday on news that people probably wouldn't read since they have thousands of sites in a click of a button. These thoughts can be so depressing to me at times. :(
I was dedicated to my homework today nonetheless so I'm quite proud of myself. I was able to finish my Spanish summary, my International Relations homework, and my math study guide. I managed to do majority of it myself without any help but I got stuck on four problems and that worries me. Hopefully I'll be able to talk to my teacher tomorrow before we take the test. I don't want to fail my first math test of the semester. I'm aiming for a B this time.
Today I was pondering my future life after my high school days. I'm extremely nervous for what the future will hold for me, I'm terrified! The most terrifying thought is not being accepted into a UC. I know that my first rejection letter will make me bawl; I'm already expecting it. I will be embarrassed if I enroll into a community college! Not that there's anything wrong with a community college, it's just that I have high ambitions and I know that I'm capable of being accepted into a UC. My only issue is that I'm incredibly lazy! :( I need to break that habit! Argh. Afterwords I'll still be nervous about my schooling, applying for internships, and actually applying for jobs but it doesn't bother me much now. However once those tasks are upon my doorstep knocking on my door awaiting on my decisions, I'm not sure how exactly I'd respond. I'd probably consult my mother for some advice. OH! and applying for scholarships are a drag too! :( Why must this all be so difficult and tedious?!
I should probably apply to a few more today since I'm finished with my homework early and then I'll study for my AP U.S. exam.
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