Punch Drunk

I despise being on my period. It screws me up entirely! My face breaks out with pimples, my knees and back are in pain, I have horrible cramps, my head hurts, and I get overly emotional and depressed. I hate this crap.

That being said, I feel like a depressed mop. I think I just want to fall off the face of the Earth. I don't even know why I feel so depressed (besides my period). I just don't feel the need to live right now. Yuck.

I'm surfing Netflix trying to find a film I can watch instantly. I practically slept all day with this gift Mother Nature sent yesterday evening. I just came across The Breakfast Club and I think I'll settle on that.

I'm starting to listen to Incubus again. I'm feeling my ~spiritual side sinking in. Watching this video = nostalgia. I miss 90's fashion for men. The skinny jeans now are eh; only a certain few can pull it off.

This is for the people of the sun

I'm in dire need of my license and a car. After experiencing One Day As A Lion live, I've become intrigued yet again in the Chicano movement. Zack de la Rocha and Tom Morello have been my main muse in this interest.

I wish I could do more rather than just sitting back and watching things happen. This is why the car comes into play. If I could drive, I wouldn't have to bother Mother and take off to rallies, protests, walks, etc. especially now because of SB1070. I know it's a controversial topic but it's a law that I do not support whatsoever. I AM aware of the state rights but I personally don't agree with it and that is my stance.



I never really took pride in my nationality. As a matter of fact, when I was younger I used to hate the color of my skin. I thought it was ugly to be brown because I certainly didn't feel beautiful. I disliked certain colors like pink because I thought it didn't fit the color of my skin. My mother tried reasoning with me telling me that my color is something I should be proud of and her friends would tell me the same thing. After time passed I didn't think about it much. It wasn't something I thought about and I felt objective when it came to my ethnicity.

However all of that changed once I got into high school. I became aware of my surroundings, my family's background, and most importantly I became aware of what kind of person I was. I'm continuing to evolve and I try to be conscious of that.

It was just recently in my junior year of high school that I fully embraced my ethnicity. I take pride in being Mexican-American; a Chicana. I've become more in tune with my culture, my language, and my beliefs. Thinking back on how I used to feel about my color saddens me.

Due to that I find myself immersed with fascination for the indigenous people of Mexico, specifically The Zapatista movement. Another reason why I'd like to get a car & get myself down to Chiapas and help out the community.

"Cuando la vida te presente razones para llorar, demuéstrale que tienes mil y una razones para reír." Anónimo

A world of neverending happiness

Yesterday I went out with my pal Nessa, her boyfriend and our friend Zach to the Stonewood mall. I personally didn't plan on buying anything considering I'm saving up for concerts but I succumbed. We headed towards the music warehouse and of course I had to come across Incubus' live DVDs and that's when I caved. They had their Alive @ Red Rocks and Look Alive along with their CDs. I would've got the Red Rocks DVD however I made myself a ghetto version of it on my computer so I settled for the latter.

Anyways, afterwords I wanted to show Nessa some Macbeth shoes I found and once we walked into the store my mind went crazy. I found the same guy I had met last December. Holy cow what are the odds of that! I got to chat with the dude again and we had a lovely conversation.

Yeesh. I was going to go into detail about our convo but I'm chatting with a guy on Omegle and we've got an interesting conversation going!

:'(

My baby T-Rex departed from this world in the morning today. :(

He's been my best friend since I was five years old and he died at eleven years of age. My whole family babies him and we adored him to pieces. I just hope he felt the enormous love we all felt for him.

♥♥

Curiosity killed the cat

I'm having mixed emotions right now. I accidentally took my friend's notebook and I was flipping through the pages right now and came across some pages that used as her "diary". I know I shouldn't have read it and I should've just shut it closed but I couldn't help but read what she wrote.

She wrote about her boyfriend and how he's been pressuring her into having intercourse. My friend admits that she's interested in the action but understands that they're both too young to get involved in anything of that sort. Not to mention, she doesn't want to disappointment her parents or her boyfriend. It's a complex situation and she's torn inside.

She wrote about how she prays to God asking him for guidance and that she wishes she was closer to her faith. She seems confused and lost. In one of the pages she wrote that she wished she had someone to talk to get receive advice from.

After reading that I know I'm not a pro in that field or anything but I really wish she would open up to me about it. I don't why I have this sudden urge to talk to her about it. Reading it makes me want to open up to her about my past. I just wouldn't know how to bring it up considering that I don't think she even knows that I accidentally took her notebook!

And then I feel horrible because I know I should have respected her privacy and I know I would have been pissed to find out if someone read what I wrote.

After reading this I see her in a completely new light. Not in a negative way, but she honestly seemed like such a happy-go-lucky gal who was incredibly happy in her long-time relationship.

I don't know how I'd bring it up but if she asks me or seems scared if I read it, I will let her know that I did. I will own up to my actions and simply say that I wont repeat a word and I'd be open to take heed for her. She'll be in my prayers from then on, even though I do pray for my friend in general.

I just hope she follows her heart and takes her stand if anything drastic pursues.

This makes me so happy.

Sometimes I'd rather stay at school than come home to an angry mother.
It's frustrating and has such an major impact in my day. This being that if I was having a good day and I come home to an angry mother, no matter how great my day was it becomes horrible.

Ugh. Kill me now. -_-"