Okay, I feel better now

Yesterday I stumbled across the term "straight edge' due to Davey Havok's testimonial on "one Chance, One Life."

I must confess that I've never been much of an AFI fan until I saw them open up for Green Day in August and since then I've been engrossed with Davey's lyrics and their music in general.

I've heard the term straight edge since my elementary school years because of my cousin's friend who claimed to be straight edge. As a child I didn't grasp its meaning and I realized that it's exactly how I have been live my life. Some may claim that I don't necessarily have a choice with drugs because I'm a minor. In my defense, there are many adolescents who have became intoxicated despite their age. There is always a way to get past that-- age has nothing to do with it. As a matter of fact, it seems like it's much easier to become exposed to drugs and alcohol at a young age than when an adult.

I have a choice and one life that I'm willing to live to the fullest of my potential without including alcohol or drugs. That is NOT my scene; in my eyes it's degrading. I always cringe at the sight of a drunk women who lost her dignity by acting as a drunken fool in public.

When hearing Davey speak these words-- I saw grew to admire and respect him more than I did before. It's difficult coming across bands who live by the same philosophy.



This doesn't mean I' m going to shun all bands who drink because majority of the bands I like-- do. My favorite band, Green Day, drinks and has consumed drugs in their prime but I still adore them. I'm simply surprised to hear that there are bands like AFI who have the same views as me and many others.


On another topic briefly mentioned within the video: Veganism. Davey is a full supporter of this movement which I greatly admire! Being a vegetarian is a difficult task, let alone being Vegan. Thus I applaud his dedication.

I confess that I've attempted being Vegetarian but living in a Mexican household it's quite difficult eating a properly balanced meal.

Then there's also the debate about how God intended for certain animals to be eaten. As a Catholic I'm still unsure about this argument. I don't know what to believe when it comes to that situation.

In a nut shell I'm infatuated with Davey's dedication to his beliefs especially being in a rock band. Now I feel like I must meet him and thank him. I wouldn't necessarily bombard him with any AFI related questions-- maybe I'd compliment his band but it wouldn't go further than that. I'd ask him about being straight edge, veganism, and growing up in the East Bay.

As for my life I hope to keep my life alcohol/drug/cigarette free. Since middle to up to my senior year I haven't had the desire to do any of those mentioned above. I always tell my Mom this and she said it's good to have my mind set like that but that if I ever do drink-- it's okay to be a social drinker. Once she said that my mind was beginning to think in that mind frame, "Well maybe I will drink one day-- for fun." However after watching Davey's video I think I have a stronger mindset on not drinking at all.

I told my Mom about Davey's video and she's glad that I became inspired by him and that he's promoting that movement. I think she likes him now because of that ;)

I just hope that one day I get the opportunity to speak to him about these subjects. I know my chances are slim but I suppose I could always send a fan letter? Although I always become discouraged because I know he probably receives a plethora-- more than he could read! But it never hurts to try, right?

Blah

This past week has been an awkward one at home. I think my mother has been upset with me since a Tuesday afternoon. Since that Tuesday we haven't really spoke at all to one another and we hardly call another on the phone. If we do it's brief and to the point. In the car we hardly speak, just the usual and then it becomes silent except for the music playing on the stereo and my iPod.

It's odd though because yesterday we attended my tia's birthday party and we acted all normal like as if nothing was going on. Then I wake up this morning and it's like we've returned to being blunt in our responses. It's extremely awkward.

I believe the reason why she's so upset with me is because she had forgotten what was necessary and so I told her but with a loud voice. Then afterward she called me mean and that I get angry too much. The problem with that is she does that to me allllllll the damn time. Every time I forget something she becomes angry and practically screams at me whatever I forgot. It's degrading to me and it makes me feel like shite.

I hate the argument that comes up like, "I'm your mother." I don't actually qualify that as a valid contention. I understand she's my mother but that doesn't mean she has to be rude about it. It's not something I appreciate from my Mother.

I don't feel any shame and I wont apologize. So I guess I'll see how long this lasts. . .

Senior year = stress, stress, & stress.

Day 07 – Your favourite song from Morning View.
Day 08 – Your favourite song from A Crow Left of the Murder.

Morning View - Wish You Were Here
ACLOTM - Smile Lines
"Never act my age
You can tell by the lines in my smile
That I have been around for awhile
So, insecurities
Are about as useful as trying
To put the pin back in the grenade"

Senior year has been incredibly stressful thus far! So much for a relaxed year. :(

Why does it always rain on me?

My grandma has been depressed for quite some time now. She's been to the doctor and they prescribed her medicine but she hasn't taken it and refuses to because she says she doesn't want to become addicted.

The problem is that she's extremely depressed and her profile displays that melancholic feeling. My family overall feels awkward when we can see how she's feeling. We all want her to feel better but it's frustrating when she refuses to take the medicine!

I feel torn and worried. My grandma is old and I don't think I'm ready for her to pass away. Those thoughts always come creeping into my head and it's a real nuisance! I try to push it away but they always come lurking back.

I try to spend more time with her but I've also become busy because of the school year. I'm just so terrified and I don't know what I'd do without my grandma. She's like my second mother.

I can't talk to my Mom about this because I don't want to put these horrible thoughts into her head so I'd rather type them out onto here. Either way I feel like the rain is always pouring in this house hold, figuratively speaking.

Open the past and present now and we are there

Words could not express how much I adore and cherish these men. Nimrod was the first album I listened to and I fell in love. During elementary school, I thought that I would never get the chance to experience them, ever. Now, seven years ago I've been fortunate enough to have experienced this epic band four times.


October 9, 2005
August 25, 2009
November 23, 2009
August 31, 2010

Three out of those four times I've been lucky enough to have been in the pit front and center with my boys. Twice with my best friend in the world, Mom.

On August 31, 2010, I was able to experience TWO of my all time favorite Green Day songs: Scattered & Paper Lanterns. I never thought I'd get to hear such rarities live in my lifetime.

I don't think I'll ever love a band as much as I do with Green Day. I've met so many wonderful people through their music, they've been the soundtrack to my high school years, and their lyrics have helped me some of my roughest times. ♥

"Now I cannot speak, I lost my voice
I'm speechless and redundant
'Cause I love you's not enough
I'm lost for words . . ."

One Day As A Lion @ Community Culture Center

The 18th of July which was a Sunday, I was fortunate enough to buy some tickets to witness One Day As A Lion perform. The day of the show couldn’t come any faster, I was so anxious to see them live and to finally see in person the inspiring Zack de la Rocha.

My mother and I got to the Community Culture Center at 1:30 or about 2:00 I can’t remember to be honest. There was already a small group there about 15 – 20 people. Right when I got there I heard the band doing their sound check which was amazing! I was able to hear Wild International twice because of this. 

The security guards told us where to line up and I moved quickly to get a good spot in line and I was about the 10th person. My Mom moved to a shade area and started to chat with another gal. Pretty soon the line ended up wrapping around the entire building! It was such a shock! I thought that moment that I was seriously lucky to have been so close to the front.

One thing I did notice is that there were a lot of Latinos there, many were speaking Spanish and about how the band would be playing a show that following Friday at the Hollywood Palladium.

I also noticed that there was a photographer there who was taking pictures and I think my Mother and I came out in a few but I told her to not look directly at it because candid shots are always better than posed.

Finally, after waiting in the blazing sun for what seemed like an eternity (about 2 hours) security finally started letting us in by sections. Once we got in we were relieved to feel that the center provided air conditioning. THANK GOD! If not we would’ve died of heat stroke, seriously.

We walked in and we got our hands stamped which instantly smeared seeing that it was still hot with all the body hot.

Mother and I were able to get into a great spot. We were in the second row to the front which was great for a small intimate show. I believe it was about thirty minutes until the opening band first came out.

The first band that came on was the Holloys. Their first song was interesting in a positive way; it was definitely different than most bands out there which is always a plus. By the fourth song, I was already anxious to see them get offstage. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so anxious! I tried moving to the music to try and ease my tension but it really didn’t help at all. To top it off, the dudes that were in front of me where so freakin’ tall so I could hardly see the actual band except for their heads. It was frustrating. After forty-five minutes the band finally concluded their set and ended with a few words thanking De La Rocha, Theodore, and the staff for allowing to play with ‘em and for the DIY style.

The moment was closer; every five minutes that passed by I thought, ‘Soon. Just a few more minutes.’ Then I heard the cheers from the audience and I knew de la Rocha was walking up to the one foot stage accompanied by John Theodore and the keyboardist. I turned to my Mom and gave him a toothy grin, the moment was finally here.

Majority of the crowd watched in silence as we saw the trio set up for their 45 minute set. Few from the crowd would yell out comments “La raza!” Or “Needs more cowbell” which earned the audience a grin from de la Rocha and my Mom.  It was definitely a great surprise from the audience. Before the trio began, de la Rocha made a statement saying, "Good Afternoon. To remind all you guys with this uh, these cell phones and these things [video recorders] that there are people behind you and that YOU are actually here. This is live."

I recognized songs off the EP like "If You Fear Dying" especially since I fancied the line "I'm like Fela with my heart in Venezuela / It's a world favela so fuck the novela...."

I must say that the one other time I was literally right in front of a singer, I immediately became intimidated. I felt so little and insignificant that I felt like I HAD to move towards the side. However when it came to this show, I felt nothing similar of that. I took the time to drink in his profile. Just seeing de la Rocha in person mesmerized me, and let alone seeing him do his thang gave me shivers. de la Rocha is one little man with a strong voice. His profile is organic with a simple buttoned up shirt, black pants, and seven dollar shoes. Not to mention, his signature hair style was beyond words. I swear it could have its own website.
Seeing as this was my first time experiencing a show like this (meaning it wasn't a punk show with rowdiness) I wasn't quite sure how to "rock out".

At first I was just bobbing my head to the beat and then it was shortly later that I started to feel the beat and lyrics. I did fist pumps at the appropriate times like, "And you're already dead!" de la Rocha has some amazing vocal practice considering I couldn't rap for more than 5 stanzas 'cause after that I'd have to have a long intermission for breathing!

"Last Letter" was an interesting live number. It's a good song lyrically but musically it seems to be all over the place. There isn't a steady beat per say but it's a great hand banging song! I'd like to blame this number in particular for my splitting headache after the show.

I watched de la Rocha for majority of the set but I tried watching Master Theodore for a while. His skills amaze me! He beats like crazy!! Kudos, Theodore, KUDOS! What I observed from him is that he's more of a follower (not in a negative way) meaning that he would always be ready to play, always set. Before a couple of songs he'd comment to de la Rocha, "I'm ready whenever you are."



In "Last Letter" it was great seeing de la Rocha completely break out of his shell. He was jumping all over the place and head banging without looking! He was just feeling the music going crazy! I confess that I was a bit worried at certain points I was afraid he was going to fall off the tiny stage or knock something over. This was definitely another great head banger track.

There were new songs included in the set list. It was during these songs that I was able to watch the entire band. The songs sounded great and the microphone de la Rocha sang in with the keyboard sounded more clearer; a positive. The keyboardist got into the grove as well. I’d never seen anyone rock out on keyboards so it was a hoot watching him rock out on those keys. Very cool.

“One Day As A Lion” was a fantastic live track! My eyes did not leave de la Rocha and it was great watching him sing out some of my favorite lines off this track like, “Faced flame for five centuries / And if LA were Baghdad we'd be Iraqi” ; “After dark my city's a fuse / One day I say today we live as a lion” ; “You a minuteman wait a minute man / Talk like that might limit your life span.”

The latter quote especially touched my heart. While singing those two stanzas, de la Rocha had a huge grin plastered on his face. It was great witnessing that genuine smile; it made me feel like he was proud of that moment we all shared. Only a few of those heart touching moments occurred that night and I was lucky enough to notice them.

If I remember correctly ‘Wild International’ was the last song of their set. I was waiting for this track the whole time and once the first beats were played I couldn’t help but hesitate to make sure it was the Wild International. My heart fluttered once I realized that it really was that song.

Unfortunately that was the last song they played for the night but at least they went out with a bang! The guys said their thank yous and walked off stage. De la rocha took off immediately and I'm not sure where the other guys walked of to.

It was definitely a great ending and they had great success that afternoon. Definitely an epic afternoon and it's definitely one of the highlights of my summer '10.