Okay, I feel better now

Yesterday I stumbled across the term "straight edge' due to Davey Havok's testimonial on "one Chance, One Life."

I must confess that I've never been much of an AFI fan until I saw them open up for Green Day in August and since then I've been engrossed with Davey's lyrics and their music in general.

I've heard the term straight edge since my elementary school years because of my cousin's friend who claimed to be straight edge. As a child I didn't grasp its meaning and I realized that it's exactly how I have been live my life. Some may claim that I don't necessarily have a choice with drugs because I'm a minor. In my defense, there are many adolescents who have became intoxicated despite their age. There is always a way to get past that-- age has nothing to do with it. As a matter of fact, it seems like it's much easier to become exposed to drugs and alcohol at a young age than when an adult.

I have a choice and one life that I'm willing to live to the fullest of my potential without including alcohol or drugs. That is NOT my scene; in my eyes it's degrading. I always cringe at the sight of a drunk women who lost her dignity by acting as a drunken fool in public.

When hearing Davey speak these words-- I saw grew to admire and respect him more than I did before. It's difficult coming across bands who live by the same philosophy.



This doesn't mean I' m going to shun all bands who drink because majority of the bands I like-- do. My favorite band, Green Day, drinks and has consumed drugs in their prime but I still adore them. I'm simply surprised to hear that there are bands like AFI who have the same views as me and many others.


On another topic briefly mentioned within the video: Veganism. Davey is a full supporter of this movement which I greatly admire! Being a vegetarian is a difficult task, let alone being Vegan. Thus I applaud his dedication.

I confess that I've attempted being Vegetarian but living in a Mexican household it's quite difficult eating a properly balanced meal.

Then there's also the debate about how God intended for certain animals to be eaten. As a Catholic I'm still unsure about this argument. I don't know what to believe when it comes to that situation.

In a nut shell I'm infatuated with Davey's dedication to his beliefs especially being in a rock band. Now I feel like I must meet him and thank him. I wouldn't necessarily bombard him with any AFI related questions-- maybe I'd compliment his band but it wouldn't go further than that. I'd ask him about being straight edge, veganism, and growing up in the East Bay.

As for my life I hope to keep my life alcohol/drug/cigarette free. Since middle to up to my senior year I haven't had the desire to do any of those mentioned above. I always tell my Mom this and she said it's good to have my mind set like that but that if I ever do drink-- it's okay to be a social drinker. Once she said that my mind was beginning to think in that mind frame, "Well maybe I will drink one day-- for fun." However after watching Davey's video I think I have a stronger mindset on not drinking at all.

I told my Mom about Davey's video and she's glad that I became inspired by him and that he's promoting that movement. I think she likes him now because of that ;)

I just hope that one day I get the opportunity to speak to him about these subjects. I know my chances are slim but I suppose I could always send a fan letter? Although I always become discouraged because I know he probably receives a plethora-- more than he could read! But it never hurts to try, right?

Blah

This past week has been an awkward one at home. I think my mother has been upset with me since a Tuesday afternoon. Since that Tuesday we haven't really spoke at all to one another and we hardly call another on the phone. If we do it's brief and to the point. In the car we hardly speak, just the usual and then it becomes silent except for the music playing on the stereo and my iPod.

It's odd though because yesterday we attended my tia's birthday party and we acted all normal like as if nothing was going on. Then I wake up this morning and it's like we've returned to being blunt in our responses. It's extremely awkward.

I believe the reason why she's so upset with me is because she had forgotten what was necessary and so I told her but with a loud voice. Then afterward she called me mean and that I get angry too much. The problem with that is she does that to me allllllll the damn time. Every time I forget something she becomes angry and practically screams at me whatever I forgot. It's degrading to me and it makes me feel like shite.

I hate the argument that comes up like, "I'm your mother." I don't actually qualify that as a valid contention. I understand she's my mother but that doesn't mean she has to be rude about it. It's not something I appreciate from my Mother.

I don't feel any shame and I wont apologize. So I guess I'll see how long this lasts. . .

Senior year = stress, stress, & stress.

Day 07 – Your favourite song from Morning View.
Day 08 – Your favourite song from A Crow Left of the Murder.

Morning View - Wish You Were Here
ACLOTM - Smile Lines
"Never act my age
You can tell by the lines in my smile
That I have been around for awhile
So, insecurities
Are about as useful as trying
To put the pin back in the grenade"

Senior year has been incredibly stressful thus far! So much for a relaxed year. :(

Why does it always rain on me?

My grandma has been depressed for quite some time now. She's been to the doctor and they prescribed her medicine but she hasn't taken it and refuses to because she says she doesn't want to become addicted.

The problem is that she's extremely depressed and her profile displays that melancholic feeling. My family overall feels awkward when we can see how she's feeling. We all want her to feel better but it's frustrating when she refuses to take the medicine!

I feel torn and worried. My grandma is old and I don't think I'm ready for her to pass away. Those thoughts always come creeping into my head and it's a real nuisance! I try to push it away but they always come lurking back.

I try to spend more time with her but I've also become busy because of the school year. I'm just so terrified and I don't know what I'd do without my grandma. She's like my second mother.

I can't talk to my Mom about this because I don't want to put these horrible thoughts into her head so I'd rather type them out onto here. Either way I feel like the rain is always pouring in this house hold, figuratively speaking.

Open the past and present now and we are there

Words could not express how much I adore and cherish these men. Nimrod was the first album I listened to and I fell in love. During elementary school, I thought that I would never get the chance to experience them, ever. Now, seven years ago I've been fortunate enough to have experienced this epic band four times.


October 9, 2005
August 25, 2009
November 23, 2009
August 31, 2010

Three out of those four times I've been lucky enough to have been in the pit front and center with my boys. Twice with my best friend in the world, Mom.

On August 31, 2010, I was able to experience TWO of my all time favorite Green Day songs: Scattered & Paper Lanterns. I never thought I'd get to hear such rarities live in my lifetime.

I don't think I'll ever love a band as much as I do with Green Day. I've met so many wonderful people through their music, they've been the soundtrack to my high school years, and their lyrics have helped me some of my roughest times. ♥

"Now I cannot speak, I lost my voice
I'm speechless and redundant
'Cause I love you's not enough
I'm lost for words . . ."

One Day As A Lion @ Community Culture Center

The 18th of July which was a Sunday, I was fortunate enough to buy some tickets to witness One Day As A Lion perform. The day of the show couldn’t come any faster, I was so anxious to see them live and to finally see in person the inspiring Zack de la Rocha.

My mother and I got to the Community Culture Center at 1:30 or about 2:00 I can’t remember to be honest. There was already a small group there about 15 – 20 people. Right when I got there I heard the band doing their sound check which was amazing! I was able to hear Wild International twice because of this. 

The security guards told us where to line up and I moved quickly to get a good spot in line and I was about the 10th person. My Mom moved to a shade area and started to chat with another gal. Pretty soon the line ended up wrapping around the entire building! It was such a shock! I thought that moment that I was seriously lucky to have been so close to the front.

One thing I did notice is that there were a lot of Latinos there, many were speaking Spanish and about how the band would be playing a show that following Friday at the Hollywood Palladium.

I also noticed that there was a photographer there who was taking pictures and I think my Mother and I came out in a few but I told her to not look directly at it because candid shots are always better than posed.

Finally, after waiting in the blazing sun for what seemed like an eternity (about 2 hours) security finally started letting us in by sections. Once we got in we were relieved to feel that the center provided air conditioning. THANK GOD! If not we would’ve died of heat stroke, seriously.

We walked in and we got our hands stamped which instantly smeared seeing that it was still hot with all the body hot.

Mother and I were able to get into a great spot. We were in the second row to the front which was great for a small intimate show. I believe it was about thirty minutes until the opening band first came out.

The first band that came on was the Holloys. Their first song was interesting in a positive way; it was definitely different than most bands out there which is always a plus. By the fourth song, I was already anxious to see them get offstage. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so anxious! I tried moving to the music to try and ease my tension but it really didn’t help at all. To top it off, the dudes that were in front of me where so freakin’ tall so I could hardly see the actual band except for their heads. It was frustrating. After forty-five minutes the band finally concluded their set and ended with a few words thanking De La Rocha, Theodore, and the staff for allowing to play with ‘em and for the DIY style.

The moment was closer; every five minutes that passed by I thought, ‘Soon. Just a few more minutes.’ Then I heard the cheers from the audience and I knew de la Rocha was walking up to the one foot stage accompanied by John Theodore and the keyboardist. I turned to my Mom and gave him a toothy grin, the moment was finally here.

Majority of the crowd watched in silence as we saw the trio set up for their 45 minute set. Few from the crowd would yell out comments “La raza!” Or “Needs more cowbell” which earned the audience a grin from de la Rocha and my Mom.  It was definitely a great surprise from the audience. Before the trio began, de la Rocha made a statement saying, "Good Afternoon. To remind all you guys with this uh, these cell phones and these things [video recorders] that there are people behind you and that YOU are actually here. This is live."

I recognized songs off the EP like "If You Fear Dying" especially since I fancied the line "I'm like Fela with my heart in Venezuela / It's a world favela so fuck the novela...."

I must say that the one other time I was literally right in front of a singer, I immediately became intimidated. I felt so little and insignificant that I felt like I HAD to move towards the side. However when it came to this show, I felt nothing similar of that. I took the time to drink in his profile. Just seeing de la Rocha in person mesmerized me, and let alone seeing him do his thang gave me shivers. de la Rocha is one little man with a strong voice. His profile is organic with a simple buttoned up shirt, black pants, and seven dollar shoes. Not to mention, his signature hair style was beyond words. I swear it could have its own website.
Seeing as this was my first time experiencing a show like this (meaning it wasn't a punk show with rowdiness) I wasn't quite sure how to "rock out".

At first I was just bobbing my head to the beat and then it was shortly later that I started to feel the beat and lyrics. I did fist pumps at the appropriate times like, "And you're already dead!" de la Rocha has some amazing vocal practice considering I couldn't rap for more than 5 stanzas 'cause after that I'd have to have a long intermission for breathing!

"Last Letter" was an interesting live number. It's a good song lyrically but musically it seems to be all over the place. There isn't a steady beat per say but it's a great hand banging song! I'd like to blame this number in particular for my splitting headache after the show.

I watched de la Rocha for majority of the set but I tried watching Master Theodore for a while. His skills amaze me! He beats like crazy!! Kudos, Theodore, KUDOS! What I observed from him is that he's more of a follower (not in a negative way) meaning that he would always be ready to play, always set. Before a couple of songs he'd comment to de la Rocha, "I'm ready whenever you are."



In "Last Letter" it was great seeing de la Rocha completely break out of his shell. He was jumping all over the place and head banging without looking! He was just feeling the music going crazy! I confess that I was a bit worried at certain points I was afraid he was going to fall off the tiny stage or knock something over. This was definitely another great head banger track.

There were new songs included in the set list. It was during these songs that I was able to watch the entire band. The songs sounded great and the microphone de la Rocha sang in with the keyboard sounded more clearer; a positive. The keyboardist got into the grove as well. I’d never seen anyone rock out on keyboards so it was a hoot watching him rock out on those keys. Very cool.

“One Day As A Lion” was a fantastic live track! My eyes did not leave de la Rocha and it was great watching him sing out some of my favorite lines off this track like, “Faced flame for five centuries / And if LA were Baghdad we'd be Iraqi” ; “After dark my city's a fuse / One day I say today we live as a lion” ; “You a minuteman wait a minute man / Talk like that might limit your life span.”

The latter quote especially touched my heart. While singing those two stanzas, de la Rocha had a huge grin plastered on his face. It was great witnessing that genuine smile; it made me feel like he was proud of that moment we all shared. Only a few of those heart touching moments occurred that night and I was lucky enough to notice them.

If I remember correctly ‘Wild International’ was the last song of their set. I was waiting for this track the whole time and once the first beats were played I couldn’t help but hesitate to make sure it was the Wild International. My heart fluttered once I realized that it really was that song.

Unfortunately that was the last song they played for the night but at least they went out with a bang! The guys said their thank yous and walked off stage. De la rocha took off immediately and I'm not sure where the other guys walked of to.

It was definitely a great ending and they had great success that afternoon. Definitely an epic afternoon and it's definitely one of the highlights of my summer '10.

You're stellar

Day 06 – Your favorite song from Make Yourself.

This album overall is a fantastic and as I've become reacquainted with it I've realized it was difficult choosing between: Nowhere Fast, Drive, and Make Yourself. However I realized that there's a common theme within the ones I chose above.

Nowhere Fast: "Will I ever get to, to where it is that I'm going. Will I ever follow through with what I have planned? I guess it's possible that I have been a bit distracted and the directions for me are a lot less in demand, in demand."

A lot of times I feel like what's expressed above. Time is moving by so fast and I think I'm going in the right direction but then other times I feel completely confused and lost. As a high school student I have many aspirations that can lead me in different directions and I don't know if I'll ever get there. Or if I do, will I know when I'm there?

Drive: "Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty sting clear and I can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer. It's driven me before and it seems to be the way that everyone else gets around. But lately I'm beginning to find that when I drive myself my light is found."

Again, as a vulnerable student aspiring in life I can't help but let my fear take over and refrain myself from taking certain actions. As my own worst critic I put myself down and restrict myself from experiencing something new. I never listened to the lyrics to this song until recently, I always liked the acoustics of it. However as of late, I've been forcing myself to try out new things and even though I'm terrified throughout the whole process, I realize that in the end it's such a satisfying feeling because my light is found.

Make Yourself: "If I hadn't made me, I would've been made somehow. If I hadn't assembled myself, I'd have fallen apart by now... but if you really want to live, why not try and make yourself?"

Musically this track doesn't do it for me, and I'm not too keen on Boyd's vocals here. However I do love the message it's depicting. I'm all for being oneself and standing up for one's right and just being a firm believer in yourself and not succumbing to the masses. This song clearly sums up the positives and importance of making yourself.


These are only some of my current favorites on this album, and it's difficult choosing simply one. I feel like these three tracks give a snapshot of where I am currently in my life. Who knows, maybe twenty years from now I'll have different favorites of this album.

----------

As for life, I don't feel too content with writing out what's going on in my life right now. Only thing that's major is that I got my four wisdom teeth pulled out this past Saturday. My face looked like a freakin' brick! Horrible.

Human Magic Marker

Day 05 - Your favorite song from S.C.I.E.N.C.E.

I have so many favorites from this album! Idiot Box, Favorite Things, Anti-gravity, etc. This album has many gems that unfortunately aren't played live often. My current favorite song off of S.C.I.E.N.C.E. is Redefine.
Incubus added this track to their set list during their Light Grenades tour and they deliver a killer performance by experimenting with an acoustic cover of it.
The song overall is amazing lyrically & musically.
My favorite stanza is, "I'm sick of painting in black and white / My pen is dry, now I'm uptight / So sick of limiting myself to your definition / Redefine."

---------

After conversing with the man from yesterday, I feel like I have a whole new perspective on my high school life. I'm praying to God and hoping that I stop comparing myself to my peers and others around me. I should be content with who I am and where I'm now in my life because I did it myself. I busted my ass, did all the work, and I've made it this far. The man told me that if I really believe in my dreams and genuinely try my hardest to reach my goals, then I would.

Today I was only able to greet him but my mother spoke to him more. Mother said that he told her that if I ever had any questions about universities or school to give him a call. According to mother, he also said that he really feels that I'll be successful; that I'll be someone.

I was shocked; I only met the man one day and he's already praising me. I'm always skeptical about this but I can't help but feel like the compliment is genuine and I get a happy tingling feeling.

Ugh. I am in love with him. He's wonderful! I don't think I'll ever forget him, he's left his footprint on my heart. I love conversing with humans who are so genuine and motivating. There needs to be more humans like this wonderful being.

New Experiences

Day 04 - Your favorite song from Fungus Amongus.

I must confess that this is the album I least listen to. However I do enjoy some of the tracks, especially Sink Beneath the Line. I never paid attention to the lyrics until now and I never realized how odd they are. From what I grasp, it's about a girl with insects crawling up her "5-0-1 cut-offs." The song has a psychedelic groove and it's great listening to Brandon experimenting with his vocal range.

----------

Today I was presented with a new experience that turned out wonderful. My mother and I went car shopping! :) From what mother told me I thought it was going to be boring considering it takes a long time to reach a decision, I know nothing about cars, and I find no interest whatsoever in automobiles.

Turns out I enjoyed car shopping, even if the car wasn't for me. We had a great salesman who was wonderful: patient, kind, and humorous. If it wasn't for him I don't think I would have had such a wonderful experience-- I wouldn't have thought the day wasted at a dealer. On the contrary, I thought today was a neat experience and I gained a new perspective on life. I also learned that I'm a gullible female.

I'm conscious that those salesmen are there to sell and persuade, even if it means lying and saying things that the customer wants to hear. My mother reminds me of this all the time but I couldn't help but believe our salesmen.

He was wonderful, friendly, kind, funny, etc., etc.! Throughout the whole sale process, we were able to discuss universities and I was enlightened that he attended UCLA! I was shocked. He then proceeded to give me a "motivational speech" and in a nutshell it was wonderful.

I'm quite pleased with how the day turned out today.

Now it's 2:oo A.M. and I'm incredibly tired. Tomorrow shall be another busy day with babysitting.

Nostalgic 90's

Day 02 - When you became a Incubus fan
Day 03 – The first Incubus song you heard

It definitively was in the mid nineties when I became an Incubus fan. Like many other bands I was introduced to their music by my cousins and I still recall the first song I heard by them: Warning. I never knew them by their band name but when I would hear their songs I recognized their music.

Eventually I became aware of their name and their other track 'Talk Shows On Mute.' And since then I've been a fan of theirs. However it's been about two years now that I've become to appreciate their music more.

--------

Life at home has been quite a roller coaster ride. Drastic changes occurred within the household and I must admit that after everything, I feel numb to the change. The first time things changed for the worse, it hit me hard. After the first shock I knew that there would always be that other time where it would happen again.

I wonder how long it'll last this time.

Fuck the naysayers cause they don't mean a thing

Cause this is what style we bring

311's All Mixed Up

I really hate life right now and this track has been therapeutic.

You've got to trust your instinct
And let go of regret
You've got to bet on yourself now star
'Cause that's your best bet

Infatuation touches me just when I thought it would end . . .

I like someone that I know I should definitely not have a crush on. It's seen as taboo in society but I can't help myself. I like the guy a lot despite the major age difference. I often catch myself starring at him and I'm always curious as to what he's to do next. Not to mention, he's Asian. That's probably why I'm so attracted to him. His style is pretty suave too. ♥ Definitely Japanese influenced.

What is it with me and Asian men?

I think I grew a gray watching you procrastinate.

Day 01 - Your favorite Incubus song.

Would a written invitation
signed, "Choose now or lose it all,"
sedate your hesitation?
Or inflame and make you stall?

30 Days of Incubus

It's being done on Tumblr but I refuse to get one, so this will suffice.

Day 01 - Your favourite Incubus song.
Day 02 - When you became a Incubus fan.
Day 03 – The first Incubus song you heard.
Day 04 - Your favourite song from Fungus Amongus.
Day 05 - Your favourite song from S.C.I.E.N.C.E.
Day 06 – Your favourite song from Make Yourself.
Day 07 – Your favourite song from Morning View.
Day 08 – Your favourite song from A Crow Left of the Murder.
Day 09 – Your favourite song from Light Grenades.
Day 10 – Your favourite song from Monuments and Melodies.
Day 11 – Your favourite Incubus album.
Day 12 – Your favourite Incubus live performance.
Day 13 – Your favourite Incubus music video.
Day 14 – Your favourite Incubus picture.
Day 15 – Your favourite member of Incubus.
Day 16 – The Incubus song you most relate to.
Day 17 – Your favourite Incubus lyric.
Day 18 – Who would you like Incubus to go on tour with?
Day 19 – Your favourite song that Incubus has covered.
Day 20 – Your favourite Incubus album cover.
Day 21 – An Incubus song you would like to hear live.
Day 22 – A song you would like to hear Incubus cover.
Day 23 – Do you own any Incubus merchandise?
Day 24 – Who would you want Incubus to perform with?
Day 25 – Your favourite Incubus quote.
Day 26 – Your least favourite Incubus album.
Day 27 – Your least favourite Incubus song.
Day 28 – Have you ever met anyone from Incubus?
Day 29 – A Incubus song you can listen to over and over.
Day 30 – Anything Incubus.

ディル・アン・グレイ

Grief live @ The Avalon 2007


I still vividly remember that night.

This has been the only band my Mom has hated experiencing live. I don't blame her considering it was definitely different in comparison to other bands we often see. Plus, she had gotten sick so that made it worse with the loud speakers and screaming. I on the other hand, LOVED it! :)

日本の音楽のための私の情熱は帰ってきた--

and I couldn't feel any happier!! The idea of seeing my favorite Japanese band again excites me to no end! I haven't attended a Japanese show in such a long time! Let alone, a convention. I missed this.

Last night I listened to alice nine., 12012, dir en grey, nightmare, Plastic Tree and a wave of nostalgia hit me. It reminded me of many friends I've made through my fascination with Japanland.

I've set my mind. I WILL go to Japan. I will go and visit Kyoto, Shinjuku, Osaka, Tokyo, Nagoya, and all the other wonderful cities! AND SHIBUYA, the shopping district of Japan! The mere thought of setting foot on Japanese soil makes me so happy! I can't wait, I can't wait!

Kyoto will be filled with visits to temples and gardens.

SHIBUYA! I'd shop 'til I drop. Brands like h. naoto, SEX POT ReVeNGe, and sexy dynamite london!

蛍火

京


I can't recall when I drifted away from the Japanese music scene. I'm assuming it was when Thee Out Mods left to Japan, but I could be wrong. Nonetheless, my love for this artist & band has been rekindled. I'm definitely seeing them again in October.



I still remember the first song I heard by them. After viewing the film above, I was memorized. I didn't think this would be the band that would alter my life: musically, socially, and personally.

I feel the nostalgia coming on.

Punch Drunk

I despise being on my period. It screws me up entirely! My face breaks out with pimples, my knees and back are in pain, I have horrible cramps, my head hurts, and I get overly emotional and depressed. I hate this crap.

That being said, I feel like a depressed mop. I think I just want to fall off the face of the Earth. I don't even know why I feel so depressed (besides my period). I just don't feel the need to live right now. Yuck.

I'm surfing Netflix trying to find a film I can watch instantly. I practically slept all day with this gift Mother Nature sent yesterday evening. I just came across The Breakfast Club and I think I'll settle on that.

I'm starting to listen to Incubus again. I'm feeling my ~spiritual side sinking in. Watching this video = nostalgia. I miss 90's fashion for men. The skinny jeans now are eh; only a certain few can pull it off.

This is for the people of the sun

I'm in dire need of my license and a car. After experiencing One Day As A Lion live, I've become intrigued yet again in the Chicano movement. Zack de la Rocha and Tom Morello have been my main muse in this interest.

I wish I could do more rather than just sitting back and watching things happen. This is why the car comes into play. If I could drive, I wouldn't have to bother Mother and take off to rallies, protests, walks, etc. especially now because of SB1070. I know it's a controversial topic but it's a law that I do not support whatsoever. I AM aware of the state rights but I personally don't agree with it and that is my stance.



I never really took pride in my nationality. As a matter of fact, when I was younger I used to hate the color of my skin. I thought it was ugly to be brown because I certainly didn't feel beautiful. I disliked certain colors like pink because I thought it didn't fit the color of my skin. My mother tried reasoning with me telling me that my color is something I should be proud of and her friends would tell me the same thing. After time passed I didn't think about it much. It wasn't something I thought about and I felt objective when it came to my ethnicity.

However all of that changed once I got into high school. I became aware of my surroundings, my family's background, and most importantly I became aware of what kind of person I was. I'm continuing to evolve and I try to be conscious of that.

It was just recently in my junior year of high school that I fully embraced my ethnicity. I take pride in being Mexican-American; a Chicana. I've become more in tune with my culture, my language, and my beliefs. Thinking back on how I used to feel about my color saddens me.

Due to that I find myself immersed with fascination for the indigenous people of Mexico, specifically The Zapatista movement. Another reason why I'd like to get a car & get myself down to Chiapas and help out the community.

"Cuando la vida te presente razones para llorar, demuéstrale que tienes mil y una razones para reír." Anónimo

A world of neverending happiness

Yesterday I went out with my pal Nessa, her boyfriend and our friend Zach to the Stonewood mall. I personally didn't plan on buying anything considering I'm saving up for concerts but I succumbed. We headed towards the music warehouse and of course I had to come across Incubus' live DVDs and that's when I caved. They had their Alive @ Red Rocks and Look Alive along with their CDs. I would've got the Red Rocks DVD however I made myself a ghetto version of it on my computer so I settled for the latter.

Anyways, afterwords I wanted to show Nessa some Macbeth shoes I found and once we walked into the store my mind went crazy. I found the same guy I had met last December. Holy cow what are the odds of that! I got to chat with the dude again and we had a lovely conversation.

Yeesh. I was going to go into detail about our convo but I'm chatting with a guy on Omegle and we've got an interesting conversation going!

:'(

My baby T-Rex departed from this world in the morning today. :(

He's been my best friend since I was five years old and he died at eleven years of age. My whole family babies him and we adored him to pieces. I just hope he felt the enormous love we all felt for him.

♥♥

Curiosity killed the cat

I'm having mixed emotions right now. I accidentally took my friend's notebook and I was flipping through the pages right now and came across some pages that used as her "diary". I know I shouldn't have read it and I should've just shut it closed but I couldn't help but read what she wrote.

She wrote about her boyfriend and how he's been pressuring her into having intercourse. My friend admits that she's interested in the action but understands that they're both too young to get involved in anything of that sort. Not to mention, she doesn't want to disappointment her parents or her boyfriend. It's a complex situation and she's torn inside.

She wrote about how she prays to God asking him for guidance and that she wishes she was closer to her faith. She seems confused and lost. In one of the pages she wrote that she wished she had someone to talk to get receive advice from.

After reading that I know I'm not a pro in that field or anything but I really wish she would open up to me about it. I don't why I have this sudden urge to talk to her about it. Reading it makes me want to open up to her about my past. I just wouldn't know how to bring it up considering that I don't think she even knows that I accidentally took her notebook!

And then I feel horrible because I know I should have respected her privacy and I know I would have been pissed to find out if someone read what I wrote.

After reading this I see her in a completely new light. Not in a negative way, but she honestly seemed like such a happy-go-lucky gal who was incredibly happy in her long-time relationship.

I don't know how I'd bring it up but if she asks me or seems scared if I read it, I will let her know that I did. I will own up to my actions and simply say that I wont repeat a word and I'd be open to take heed for her. She'll be in my prayers from then on, even though I do pray for my friend in general.

I just hope she follows her heart and takes her stand if anything drastic pursues.

This makes me so happy.

Sometimes I'd rather stay at school than come home to an angry mother.
It's frustrating and has such an major impact in my day. This being that if I was having a good day and I come home to an angry mother, no matter how great my day was it becomes horrible.

Ugh. Kill me now. -_-"

Stress, stress, stress... and some more stress.

I’m absolutely drained but I can’t sleep yet because I need to study for my AP US mock exam tomorrow morning. My friends just left a few moments ago and we still haven’t completed our AP Spanish project; thankfully the deadline date got pushed back an entire week. We were hoping we’d finish it today that way our friend could edit it over the weekend and turn it in for extra credit however that plan has definitely changed.

There’s about three more weeks for AP testing and I’m starting to panic. I have my practice books for English and History but I don’t necessarily believe I need one for my Spanish test. I feel confident that I’ll be able to pass with a three but I’m banking for a 5.

English worries me a bit as my vocabulary isn’t as diverse as I’d hope it would be this year but I have learned a plethora of new words already. I’m looking forward to writing my essay and I’m going to definitely try and use the best syntax and vocabulary. I must admit I’m excited for the English exam.

I’m more worried about U.S. history. I feel like there are more chances of me not passing but I suppose I need to stay positive and try my best. I know I have a higher chance in passing this test than AP Euro because I seriously did not dedicate myself to that course as I should have. This year, I took this class a lot more serious and I know what to expect so it wasn’t like a slap at the face. I’m thankful that I did gain experience from AP Euro in writing DBQs and pacing myself for the tedious homework assignments.

I suppose I should stop ranting now before I carried away. I’m going to enjoy some leisure time and reread one of my favorite fanfic chapters and log offline and get myself to review for tomorrow but majority for the actually exam.

P.S. Before I adjourn, today in AP US history we took some questions on the chapter we’ve been covering and I got more than half correct which gladdens me! It makes me feel like I actually do have high potential in passing this exam. Here’s to hoping!

Love and Light!

Breaking Barriers

Jorge Ramos and María Elena Salinas

Today after my Spanish class I spoke to my teacher about Jorge Ramos, one of the best journalists in Hispanic television. He's interviewed just about the highest ranked people in the world like the president of Venezuela, Hugo Chávez and Fidel Castro.

On television it showed a clip of Ramos interviewing Chávez and Ramos was asking blunt and difficult questions. The president replied with anger since he "felt" he was being attacked but Ramos was simply doing his job by asking bold questions to receive a primary response.

I can only imagine how much stress he has in his daily life with the thought of needing to deliver good inquires to his interviewees. I, myself, panicked when I had to interview other students and my school's principle! I can only imagine how life-changing that moment must have been for him.

Another characteristic that attracts me to Ramos is that each time something major occurs in the world, where ever it be-- the following day the public can count that Jorge Ramos is already headed to the destination. Absolutely dedicated and inspiring.

I just found out he has his own book so next time I'm headed to Borders I'm going to try and buy it. I can only imagine if I'll ever reach that point in my aspirations of becoming a top notch journalist!

Pathogens Born Of Wormy Interludes

Incubus spiritually fulfills me.

I feel like such a hippie when I listen to them and I absolutely love it!

Do You Remember Rock 'n' Roll Radio?

Green Day has finally announced the start of the North America Summer tour!!! They kick it off on August 3 in New Jersey and they're planning to play outside arenas this time around so we'll definitely receive fireworks at the end :)

I'm incredibly thankful that I know when dates will get closer to Cali and I KNOW how much to save up now! This is wonderful! I had been aching to go to a show but now this will pretty much make me stingy with my money. I want to have enough cash to hopefully hit three shows. I know I said earlier that I wanted to hit all of the Cali dates but I don't think I was being realistic. So, I know I'm definitely be attending San Diego and Los Angeles. I'm more than positive my Mom will be okay with it. Besides, she might want to come with me this time around. After all, she does enjoy Green Day's stage performances.

OMG and I have to notify my best friend of this news immediately! I must take her to a show with me since she hasn't been able to witness the amazingness Green Day gives off during their lives. Ahh, this is such exciting news that my heart is bursting with joy!

Hopefully there isn't a major band that tours close to LA this time around I wont feel tempted like I did with Dir en grey which I had to pass up either way. Although I'm missing them dearly too.

I swear I'm addicted to concerts. I told my friend that it was like a drug to me and I was addicted. I should probably go to rehab or something. Actually not really 'cause I still want to continue attending gigs. But at least it's a HEALTHY drug! And the adrenaline rush is amaaaaaaaaazing. It's euphoric!

My goodness I probably sound like a mad hippie! I suppose I'll stop rambling now.

Music is Magic

Music is definitely important in my life. Whether I'm in the shower listening to KROQ, while I'm walking down the school hallways listening to my iPod, when I'm working on school papers at 2 o'clock in the morning my iTunes is on, and when I'm in the car with my Mom, it's ALWAYS on. Unless I become bored and crave silence but that's rare.

A couple nights ago my mother was explaining to me that I've always been in touch of my emotions and when a sad love song streamed through the radio, I'd tell her to change it because it made me sad. My aunt told me a similar story a couple of days earlier. This probably explains why music has been so important to me in my life; maybe this also explains why music makes me feel the way I do. It's difficult to describe in words but music can definitely express it for me. Sometimes I'd rather say, "Here. Listen to this song. That is me right now."

Usually when I'm angry or sad I turn to music to vent. I eve made special play-lists on my iTunes concerning with my mood. I have one titled: Serenity and another 90's Flashback, and another Sunday Afternoon.

Not to mention, I enjoy quoting a lot of songs and there are songs that I can't wait to be able to quote such as Green Day's Coming Clean.

Seventeen and strung out on confusion
Trapped inside a roll of disillusion
I found out what it takes to be a man
Well,Mom and Dad will never understand

Seventeen and COMING CLEAN for the first time
I finally figured out myself for the first time
I found out what it takes to be a man
Mom and Dad will never understand
WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME



I forgot the point I was trying to make. What a disappointment.

Gotta catch 'em all!

For a couple of days now I've been re-watching the first season of Pokemon on Youtube. Listening to the opening song brings back so many wonderful memories! From the start, the theme song was catchy, immediately appealing to young kids and it's STILL catchy.

I remember I'd come home from school and the first thing I'd do was turn on the TV to Kids WB and wait for Pokemon to come on. I'd watch it everyday with my cousin. We became so engrossed with the series that we eventually began buying Pokemon cards even if we didn't play the game. We simply enjoyed collecting them. I had some cool holographic cards too that my aunt would buy me.

I also had a game for my Nintendo 64 and I would play that for hours! In the beginning I would lose easily to my opponents but as I gained experience I was able to battle the gym leaders on my own without consulting my cousins for help. That was a proud moment in my childhood life.

Anyways, while re-watching the series I finally realized how long the first season alone is and I found out that Pokemon is STILL running and is on Season 8. I thought it was over already? Total mind boggling. I'm sad that I lost interest after the first season was over because afterward new Pokemon were introduced and Brock had left Ash and Misty and were later joined by Tracey. It just wasn't the same anymore. Besides, the new theme song for the Johoto Season didn't tickle my pickle. It wasn't revolutionary like the first. It's a wonderful feeling that I was able to relive and I'm thankful for that. I don't think I'll ever forgot about my infatuation with the first season of Pokemon.

To me Pokemon is like everyone's Harry Potter, hopefully that made sense.

It feels like trading brains with an imbecile

Listen


And it feels, it feels like trading brains with an imbecile... for real.
Yes I feel emphatic about not being static
and not buying philosophies that are sold to me, at a steal.
Just when you thought it was safe to think,
in comes mental piracy, NO!

MUN

Yesterday I finally attended my third MUN conference after my absence at Cerritos due to my sudden sickness.

Thankfully my partner was Vanessa who I've become quite close with. We weren't sure our teacher would let us be partners but in the end, we got our choice! Thank goodness 'cause Nessa eased my nerves tremendously since she would be the BS-er and I would be the one doing research.

This was our first time doing Security Council and our first time with VETO POWER! Luckily my school was able to get RUSSIAN FEDERATION instead of some other country. I was incredibly happy we got a good country because we got stuck with Sudan at the UCLA conference. Terrible country.

Nonetheless, when we reached our rooms I was surprised to see that our committee wasn't packed and it was only about 24 students. This made me more comfortable seeing we'd have more chances to speak.

Vanessa and I were so lucky to have North Korea's nuclear issue as our first topic because all of Edison's delegates were aiming for Yemen which Nessa and I completely disregarded since we figured they were novice topics. Haiti was our second issue we were to solve after our lunch but we were hoping it'd change once we'd return from lunch.

During NK's topic, I enjoyed myself thoroughly caucusing and sharing Russia's ideas for aiding this issue. However, I was pissed when another country took MY idea for a solution during her speech; since I mentioned it during caucus, EVERYONE began discussing checkpoints at major ports as a way to alleviate the situation. Next time I suppose I'll just leave it for my speech. Both resolutions were passed in the end.

Anyways, it was finally lunch and next thing I know a lot of my friends found Nessa and I so they just cut in line with us. We had a great lunch, personally. I ate two slices of vegetarian pizza, salad with vinaigrette dressing, and brownies for dessert along with water. It was nice chatting with my friends to catch up and see what shenanigans went on in their committees.

Nessa and I returned to our rooms and unfortunately the topic had changed to Pakistan, a topic neither of us had studied since we were so positive Iran or North Korea would be chosen. D: Nooooooo. We panicked for a moment but by that time we were so drained we didn't really mind on caucusing since we already made friendships with U.S., Nigeria, and the U.K. who were all awesome delegates. Anyways, in the end our resolution was vetoed by France. DAMN YOU! My friend and I abstained during resolutions to be FRIENDLY and NOT veto their resolution which was very similar to ours. It was definitely a low blow.

Our committee finally ended and we didn't receive a crisis or anything which was alright but I was curious to what would happen if we did. Oh well, I suppose there is always next time.

In the end, we headed back to their auditorium for the closing assembly. My school won one gavel and another certificate. I'm very proud of my friends that won!

Closing assembly


YEAH! VETO POWER!


Once I got home I ate a bit more, drank some tea, watched TV for about thirty minutes and then crashed and I woke up at 2:30 a.m.. After every conference I always find myself exhausted!

Anyways, I can't wait for the next one! I thoroughly enjoyed this event.

Tiresome Tuesday

“The world's a roller coaster and I am not strapped in. Maybe I should hold with care, but my hands are busy in the air.” - B. Boyd

It's always tiresome going back to school after a three day weekend. Here I am sitting and typing away with my eyes practically dry and bleeding; my eyelids feel incredibly heavy.

There are days when I wish I could just be carefree as some students I see at school. They socialize without any worry in the world and head home to do whatever enthralls them without the thought of homework ever crossing their minds. Sometimes I say to myself, "Forget this. I don't care," but in reality, I'm still worrying about finishing my homework, studying for tests, studying for my AP exams, practicing my Japanese, and reading. . . the list is endless! I don't think I'll ever be able to be truly carefree. I don't know if that's a good or a bad quality?

I hope to pursue the world of journalism but sometimes I feel like it's such a risky occupation. Considering how writers have it currently, it really isn't the best career but it's one of my deepest passions. I love that it allows me to be a creative human too! That's definitely something I want to keep as a quality. And if I'm able to become an official journalist, then I hope there's still such thing as printed news! If my official job is working for an online news site then I personally wouldn't feel as successful or official. I'd feel like I'd be blogging everyday on news that people probably wouldn't read since they have thousands of sites in a click of a button. These thoughts can be so depressing to me at times. :(

I was dedicated to my homework today nonetheless so I'm quite proud of myself. I was able to finish my Spanish summary, my International Relations homework, and my math study guide. I managed to do majority of it myself without any help but I got stuck on four problems and that worries me. Hopefully I'll be able to talk to my teacher tomorrow before we take the test. I don't want to fail my first math test of the semester. I'm aiming for a B this time.

Today I was pondering my future life after my high school days. I'm extremely nervous for what the future will hold for me, I'm terrified! The most terrifying thought is not being accepted into a UC. I know that my first rejection letter will make me bawl; I'm already expecting it. I will be embarrassed if I enroll into a community college! Not that there's anything wrong with a community college, it's just that I have high ambitions and I know that I'm capable of being accepted into a UC. My only issue is that I'm incredibly lazy! :( I need to break that habit! Argh. Afterwords I'll still be nervous about my schooling, applying for internships, and actually applying for jobs but it doesn't bother me much now. However once those tasks are upon my doorstep knocking on my door awaiting on my decisions, I'm not sure how exactly I'd respond. I'd probably consult my mother for some advice. OH! and applying for scholarships are a drag too! :( Why must this all be so difficult and tedious?!

I should probably apply to a few more today since I'm finished with my homework early and then I'll study for my AP U.S. exam.

How do you do it, make me feel like I do.

This band never ceases to amaze me. While I haven't had the fortune to experience them live, I feel positive that their performances are spectacular despite their lack of audience interaction. Incubus, you can thank Green Day for making me greedy on that subject.

Stellar is an amazing song. However watching the video provided above, I'm more astounded at their cover of The Police's De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da. I'm usually picky when it comes to covers but I was blown away at this performance! Boyd's vocals are astonishing!!! He has powerful vocals and I'm always surprised at how high he can hold them without cracking. Talk about talent! You don't easily come across singers like him in the 21st century, that's certain.

Watching this only excites me more of when I'll see them. They haven't released a CD yet or announced anything that would lead to a tour but I'm quite positive that when the time comes, I will experience them live. I wasn't able to catch them last year at the Hollywood Bowel, and I'm still kicking myself for it! I wont make the same mistake twice.

I'm waiting for Mother to get home to see if she'll let me buy two DVDs off of Ebay. A seller is auctioning off TWO Incubus: Live @ Red Rocks and When Incubus Attacks: Vol 2 for the price of $7.00! Both were originally around the price of $20! I can't let an offer like that pass me by, so I'm hoping Mother will be okay with it.

Svengali

"Each week you are invited to watch the adventures of Svengali (John Roecker) as he sometimes solves the most baffling and bizarre cases in Los Angeles.

Joined by Daisy Chain (Mikey Brannon) the whore with a heart of gold, the evil Professor (special guest star Tim Armstrong) and a cast of literally dozens.

This webisode series is not sponsored by corporate enemas like Microsoft, it's simply fueled by delicious booze. Yep this series is like an infectious disease that will give you delightful diarrhea. You will feel like you were anally raped after watching it. Yes, it’s that good.

This is more than a series, it’s a way of life. It’s Svengali’s World and we just live in it."

http://www.svengaliworld.com/wip/

If you're a fan of Roecker or not-- you should all check it out!

t's better to live one day as a lion, than a thousand years as a lamb.

Since Rage Against the Machine disbanded, Zack de la Rocha continued writing music and after many years he has collaborated with another artist, ex Mars Volta drummer, John Theodore. They have finally released their EP which includes 5 songs, including Wild International which De La Rocha performed in Chicago at the House of Blues with Tom Morello.

Fortunately, I've found the time to listen to the full EP without any interruptions
and I've must say that 'Wild International' has been my favorite thus far. It's been the track that has stood out lyrically and musically. The keyboard and drumming make an excellent combination that instantly hooks you. Great opening song!

Last Letter is a diddy that doesn't include De La Rocha rapping. I was surprised at first while listening and it contains powerful lyrics with great drum dynamics. Definitely the one with my favorite drum beats.

One Day As A Lion, the last track and I'd say the most diverse out of the bunch with powerful lyrics. While listening, I can't help but think of Haiti or the people in Sudan or over populated refugee camps. This particularly stands out to me:

After dark my city's a fuse
One day I say today we live as a lion
And when our cubs grow
We'll show you what war is good for

Overall, I'm loving the EP! It has bold beats, powerful lyrics, and it includes fantastic musicians collaborating ideas. I don't think it could get any better than that, for a duo at least! :)

First post of the New Year!

A good friend of mine advised that I should get myself a Blogspot and at first I thought, "Why? I already have a livejournal." However I changed my mine 'cause I realized my lj f-list ended up dying off and I wanted to continue blogging with a fresh start. SO, here I am. :)

Another friend of mine has been wanting to read articles/stories/rambles I've done and I figured this would be easier than trying to send him each individual one. So here's one to start off.
This was required for my AP Spanish class. It was a project in which we had to write an article about some current event going on at our school and we had to conduct an interview and lay it out as if we wrote for "La Opinión"

Student and Teacher tribute iconic musician John Lennon

A John Lennon tribute had taken place on December 8, 2009 at the large quad stage during lunch with Freshmen Jamie Becker and Latin teacher David Maust covering John Lennon’s classics. The tribute had taken place on the exact date Lennon had been murdered in 1980.
While there are many artists that have revolutionized music, Jamie Becker feels that John Lennon has impacted her greatly in her own musical journey. “John Lennon has influenced my music playing and writing more than the majority of the other artists I listen to on a daily basis.”
Since Michael Jackson’s death the media had advertising Jackson’s upcoming film, “King of Pop.” It was then that Jamie had become inspired to make a tribute for John Lennon. “In seeing all these advertisements, I had thought of the importance of remembering other artists whom have made impacts on the musical world as well as many peoples' lives. And at that moments artists' names such as Janis Joplin, Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, and of course John Lennon, had flashed through my head.”
Not only had Michael Jackson’s film propelled her to commemorate Lennon but she also wanted to remind her fellow students about Lennon’s classics. “I wanted to remind my peers of the great music John Lennon had accomplished by himself, in addition to the music he accomplished with Paul McCartney, Geoge Harrison, and Ringo Starr.”
Maust said he was pleased to be a part of something new. “I was glad she was taking initiative do something out of the ordinary. I thought it was a good opportunity to do something new.”
Students were drawn in hearing music in the large quad and halfway through their performance there was a large crowd of students watching Jamie and Maust perform.
“I thought everyone liked it. People still follow John Lennon's music because he’s good at expressing how people feel and the students really enjoyed their performance,” said junior Nancy Andrade who was present during the memorial.
Jamie played guitar and sang while Maust accompanied her by playing a range of instruments such as piano to accordion. Together they covered eight songs from The Beatles and Lennon’s original work. Some of the songs performed were: Help!, Hey Jude, Eight Days a Week, and Imagine.
After performing Jamie said she felt like she accomplished what she intended. “It was a fun experience for Mr. Maust and I, and we had done our bests in showing everyone the great music John Lennon had written as well as the music he contributed to in writing.” While both performers were satisfied at accomplishing their commemoration of John Lennon, Maust said, “I felt like there was not enough live music since everything now is based on technology; it was a great way to make average music and make music socially.”
Not only did she wish to commemorate John Lennon but she also wanted her peers to become aware of John Lennon’s impact not only musically but overall. “My only hope now is that it was a good enough experience for those who listened that day, to where they will now remember John Lennon's impact as often as possible and especially on every December 8th from this year forward.”

- Priscella V.

I hadn't done something like this in a long time and when I went to interview Mr. Maust I got a rush of adrenaline and I couldn't stop smiling throughout the whole interview. I felt a stupid afterwords but I couldn't help but feel exhilarated! There are times when I question if I still wish to pursue a career in journalism and it's times like these that help reassure me that this is something I truly love to do.